Mark Pearl


Start with Heart – stay focused on what you really want
Learn to look – notice when safety is at risk
Make things safe
Master your stories – how to stay in dialogue when you’re angry, scared, or hurt

Crucial Conversations Order

State your path


S - Share your facts
T - Tell your story
A - Ask for others paths
T - Talk tentatively
E - Encourage testing

Share your facts

  • facts are general not controversial.
  • facts are more persuasive than subjective conclusions.
  • facts for the foundation of belief.
  • facts are the least insulting.

Tell your story

  • facts alone are rarely worth mentioning without a conclusion.
  • it takes confidence to share your story, be honest.
  • when sharing your story look for safety problems.
  • use contrasting.
  • do not apologize for your views

Ask for others paths

  • encourage them to express their facts, stories, and feelings.
  • carefully listen to what the other person has to say.
  • be willing to abandon or reshapre your story as more information pours into the pool of shared meaning

Talk tentatively

  • tell your story as a story rather than disguising it as a fact.
  • strike a balance between confidence and humility.
Examples of talking tentatively

“In my opinion … “
“Perhaps you were unaware … “
“Is that what is going on here, or am I jumping to conclusions …”

Encourage testing

  • invite opposing views.
  • mean your invitation when you invite opposing views.
  • if you don’t get opposing views play’s devil’s advocate.

Examples of Softening

“I’m beginning to wonder if … “

Explore others’ paths
Move to action


Crucial Conversations Videos
Free Resources

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